Mikey took a shaky step into his brother’s still-empty room. “Hi Gee. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I talked to Pete and he said talking to you like you can might make me feel better, so I’m gonna pretend you can hear me, okay?” Mikey looked at his brother anxiously for a moment. “Oh, right, you can’t answer. I’ll have to get used to that. Anyways, Pete, yeah. I know you hate him and he’s caused a lot of shit but he’s been really helpful, especially with you not here. He’s helped me not freak out about everything. I think he’s sorry too, you know. Everyone just wants you to come home. You’ll be coming home soon, I hope.” Mikey laughed a little as he sat down in the chair.

“I’ve heard some interesting rumors going around school. People keep asking me where you are. I just tell them it’s none of their business because I don’t really know what to say. Most people think you got sent to rehab as far as I can tell. Some of the stories are fucking weird though. One kid was convinced you became one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I’m pretty sure he was stoned out of his mind. Another said you’d run off to join some weird-ass parade. I don’t know what you were doing exactly, but I’m glad we found you.”

“Lindsey’s been pretty helpful too. She’s really, uh, nice. You remember Lindsey, right? She’s the girl from your painting class. She’s great. She, uh- We-” Mikey’s face turned bright red. “I like her. She’s a lot of fun to be around. She tried getting me to watch more of The Walking Dead but, um, well, we sorta, uh-” Mikey shook his head, trying to get a clear thought across. “We didn’t pay much attention to the tv. She’s really cool though. We’re really good friends now. I guess I, uh, I have you to thank for that. You and your weird fascination with Polka Dots. Thanks. I, uh, she’s fantastic.”

“I haven’t really done all that much in the last month other than, well, Lindsey. But as far as doing stuff goes, I’ve mostly just hung out with Pete. I hope you don’t mind I kinda depleted your stash, sorry. Yesterday there was a Halloween party, not much happened. I got kinda wasted and slept at Frank’s house. We woke up to voicemails from the hospital, and that brings us to now. So, uh, yeah. Thanks for listening I guess, and I hope you heard most of that because I don’t really want to repeat it all. Pete was right. I do feel a lot better now.” Mikey stood up and went to his brother’s bedside.

“Oh, and one last thing, Gee. Even with all this shit, you’re the best brother I could ever wish for and I love you. I- I should probably go find Mom and Dad now.” He gave Gerard’s hand a quick squeeze before leaving the room again and going down to the cafeteria to find his parents.

Mikey, Breathe. →

cheesewentzle:

mikeythekid:

cheesewentzle:

“I know.  I know you’re scared, I know you’re worried, I know it hurts to look at him.  But Mikey, listen to me.  The one thing I need you to do right now is breathe, okay?  You won’t be any help to him, or to yourself, if you don’t breathe.”  Pete came to a halt mid-step, moving over to sit back down on his bed, leaning against the wall and clutching the phone to his ear like it was a fucking lifeline and Mikey would lose it if he let go.  Which he might, there was no way of telling.  ”If he looks cold, just uh, just sit with him.  Talk to him, tell him what he’s missed while he was gone.  I don’t know if it helps, but maybe if you talk to him like he can answer, maybe it will?”

Mikey tried to take a deep breath, but only succeeded on choking on the air around him, causing his breathing to become even more shallow. “I guess I could try talking to him. Do you really believe he can hear what I’m saying?”

Pete nodded.  Of course, he realized an instant later that Mikey couldn’t see him.  ”I guess, yeah.  It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?  Just try it, tell me if anything happens, and for fucking Pete’s sake, call me if he wakes up.”

“I will, definitely. Thanks Pete. I’ll call if I need you again. I should be okay, at least for today. It’s getting pretty late here, but I don’t think I could sleep if I tried. Thanks again, I’ll talk to you later.” Mikey hung up the phone and took a few more deep breaths before heading back up to Gerard’s room.

Mikey, Breathe. →

cheesewentzle:

mikeythekid:

cheesewentzle:

“Oh, Mikey…”  Once again, Pete found himself in the sort of situation where he didn’t know what to do.  ”Let me- at risk of sounding extremely corny- help put you back together.  Just- just tell me everything.  What you’re thinking, how you feel, if you know, just get it off your chest.  I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

Mikey took a deep breath and walked a little further from where a few nurses were taking a cigarette break. “I don’t even think I can begin to explain how I feel. I don’t know myself, so I can’t tell you but here goes. I- well- Oh god. I’m just so fucking scared. I mean- I know he’s gonna get hurt sometimes, but he’s my big brother and I don’t know. He looked- cold- kindof in pain and I thought about - only for a minute- what would happen if it just ended. I seriously considered it. The fact that my mind even went there- it scares me. A lot. I’m really glad it didn’t go further than thinking and ranting aloud but, oh my god, I actually thought it. I would rather kill myself, oh god. I’m so fucking worried about everything. I’ve been worried for months and this just became the goddamned cherry on top.” Mikey sighed. It actually did feel better to talk, even if it was just over the phone to someone on the opposite side of the country. “Oh god, I’m just scared.”

“I know.  I know you’re scared, I know you’re worried, I know it hurts to look at him.  But Mikey, listen to me.  The one thing I need you to do right now is breathe, okay?  You won’t be any help to him, or to yourself, if you don’t breathe.”  Pete came to a halt mid-step, moving over to sit back down on his bed, leaning against the wall and clutching the phone to his ear like it was a fucking lifeline and Mikey would lose it if he let go.  Which he might, there was no way of telling.  ”If he looks cold, just uh, just sit with him.  Talk to him, tell him what he’s missed while he was gone.  I don’t know if it helps, but maybe if you talk to him like he can answer, maybe it will?”

Mikey tried to take a deep breath, but only succeeded on choking on the air around him, causing his breathing to become even more shallow. “I guess I could try talking to him. Do you really believe he can hear what I’m saying?”

Mo-om, Mikey's Freaking Out Again! →

cheesewentzle:

mikeythekid:

cheesewentzle:

“As sure as I’m going to get.”  Pete took in a quiet breath, exhaling slowly.  If he managed to get Mikey to calm down, it would become so much easier to talk to him.  ”You’re right, he would be pissed.  Vampire bites would look so much cooler than a gun wound, don’t you think?  …Um, Mikes?  Quick question.. What do you think he heard?  You said ‘then he heard,’ and then stopped.  If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, but I’m just curious.”

Mikey’s eyes widened a little. “Uh. N-nothing. I was just talking to myself earlier. Y’know, like when you talk to an empty room. I was talking to Gerard, kindof spilling my feelings a bit, but I sort-of, I dunno, I sort-of broke. I feel broken still, cracked I guess. I don’t even know what I feel like, if I feel anything. I’m on emotional overload and I’ve finally shattered.”

“Oh, Mikey…”  Once again, Pete found himself in the sort of situation where he didn’t know what to do.  ”Let me- at risk of sounding extremely corny- help put you back together.  Just- just tell me everything.  What you’re thinking, how you feel, if you know, just get it off your chest.  I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

Mikey took a deep breath and walked a little further from where a few nurses were taking a cigarette break. “I don’t even think I can begin to explain how I feel. I don’t know myself, so I can’t tell you but here goes. I- well- Oh god. I’m just so fucking scared. I mean- I know he’s gonna get hurt sometimes, but he’s my big brother and I don’t know. He looked- cold- kindof in pain and I thought about - only for a minute- what would happen if it just ended. I seriously considered it. The fact that my mind even went there- it scares me. A lot. I’m really glad it didn’t go further than thinking and ranting aloud but, oh my god, I actually thought it. I would rather kill myself, oh god. I’m so fucking worried about everything. My own mind worries me. Just- everything. I’ve been worried for months and this just became the goddamned cherry on top.” Mikey sighed. It actually did feel better to talk, even if it was just over the phone to someone on the opposite side of the country. “Oh god, I’m just scared.”

Mo-om, Mikey's Freaking Out Again! →

cheesewentzle:

mikeythekid:

cheesewentzle:

“Mikey, Mikey, listen to me.”  Pete spoke slowly and hopefully-reassuringly, not wanting to make him freak out even more.  ”He’s going to wake up.  He’s Gerard, he’s not going to let some stupid thing like getting shot fuck him over.  He’s going to wake up, and he’s going to be fine.  Well, as fine as Gerard can get.  You hear me?”  

He stood up from his bed, beginning to pace back and forth in his room.  ”People in comas still pick up on what happens around them, so I’m sure he can hear you.  And if he can hear you, he’s going to be able to know how worried you are.  He’ll be fine.” 

“Are you s-sure? Getting shot is pretty big. But you’re right. H-he’s Gerard, he’ll be okay. I don’t think he’d want to die like that anyway.” Mikey let out a small laugh, trying to keep himself calm. “He’d be pissed it wasn’t from a vampire bite or something cool like that. D-do you really think he could hear me? Then he heard- Oh- Well as long as he’ll be alright I guess. Are you sure?”

“As sure as I’m going to get.”  Pete took in a quiet breath, exhaling slowly.  If he managed to get Mikey to calm down, it would become so much easier to talk to him.  ”You’re right, he would be pissed.  Vampire bites would look so much cooler than a gun wound, don’t you think?  …Um, Mikes?  Quick question.. What do you think he heard?  You said ‘then he heard,’ and then stopped.  If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, but I’m just curious.”

Mikey’s eyes widened a little. “Uh. N-nothing. I was just talking to myself earlier. Y’know, like when you talk to an empty room. I was talking to Gerard, kindof spilling my feelings a bit, but I sort-of, I dunno, I sort-of broke. I feel broken still, cracked I guess. I don’t even know what I feel like, if I feel anything. I’m on emotional overload and I’ve finally shattered.”

Mo-om, Mikey's Freaking Out Again! →

cheesewentzle:

mikeythekid:

cheesewentzle:

“Shit, Mikes..”  Pete wasn’t sure what to do.  At all.  He had offered his help, but if he was freaking out about everything?  The two of them would have to be on the phone for the next week, if that was the case.  ”Look, here.  Just uh, say what’s on your mind.  Anything, everything.  I’ll help out as best as I can.”

“I, uh, oh god, there’s a lot on my mind. I can’t tell if he’s in pain. And I don’t know if he can hear me. And I don’t know if he’ll wake up and that scares me more than anything. Oh my god Pete, what if he doesn’t wake up? What will I do? My own thoughts scare me more than the real world sometimes. I- I thought about- oh god. But what if he doesn’t come out of it? What if he’s just a vegetable forever? I-“

“Mikey, Mikey, listen to me.”  Pete spoke slowly and hopefully-reassuringly, not wanting to make him freak out even more.  ”He’s going to wake up.  He’s Gerard, he’s not going to let some stupid thing like getting shot fuck him over.  He’s going to wake up, and he’s going to be fine.  Well, as fine as Gerard can get.  You hear me?”  
He stood up from his bed, beginning to pace back and forth in his room.  ”People in comas still pick up on what happens around them, so I’m sure he can hear you.  And if he can hear you, he’s going to be able to know how worried you are.  He’ll be fine.” 

“Are you s-sure? Getting shot is pretty big. But you’re right. H-he’s Gerard, he’ll be okay. I don’t think he’d want to die like that anyway.” Mikey let out a small laugh, trying to keep himself calm. “He’d be pissed it wasn’t from a vampire bite or something cool like that. D-do you really think he could hear me? Then he heard- Oh- Well as long as he’ll be alright I guess. Are you sure?”

Mo-om, Mikey's Freaking Out Again! →

cheesewentzle:

mikeythekid:

cheesewentzle:

mikeythekid:

Mikey took a few deep breaths, willing himself to calm down. He was still shaking, but the tears had finally stopped.

Breathe, Mikey. Just take a deep breath. In and out. That’s right. Calm down. It’s alright. It’s okay.

Pete’s words flashed in his mind, “If you’re freaking out just call.”

This definitely qualifies as freaking out.

The phone had only rung for another half a beat before Pete anxiously answered.  ”Mikey.  Hey, I’m sorry, I was trying to get some stuff organized.  What’s going on?”  He had called earlier, telling Mikey to ring if he was freaking out, if there was anything he needed to talk about, so whatever he was calling about, it had to be important.  ”Are you okay?”

“Pete. Hi. Um, I don’t know. You said to call if I was freaking out. I think this counts as freaking out.  I’m scaring myself. I’m worried about everything. I don’t know what to do.” Mikey rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “What do I do? I- Help me?”

“Shit, Mikes..”  Pete wasn’t sure what to do.  At all.  He had offered his help, but if he was freaking out about everything?  The two of them would have to be on the phone for the next week, if that was the case.  ”Look, here.  Just uh, say what’s on your mind.  Anything, everything.  I’ll help out as best as I can.”

“I, uh, oh god, there’s a lot on my mind. I can’t tell if he’s in pain. And I don’t know if he can hear me. And I don’t know if he’ll wake up and that scares me more than anything. Oh my god Pete, what if he doesn’t wake up? What will I do? My own thoughts scare me more than the real world sometimes. I- I thought about- oh god. But what if he doesn’t come out of it? What if he’s just a vegetable forever? I-“

http://mikeythekid.tumblr.com/post/24027292456/mikey-took-a-few-deep-breaths-willing-himself-to →

cheesewentzle:

mikeythekid:

Mikey took a few deep breaths, willing himself to calm down. He was still shaking, but the tears had finally stopped.

Breathe, Mikey. Just take a deep breath. In and out. That’s right. Calm down. It’s alright. It’s okay.

Pete’s words flashed in his mind, “If you’re freaking out just call.”

This definitely qualifies as freaking out.

The phone had only rung for another half a beat before Pete anxiously answered.  ”Mikey.  Hey, I’m sorry, I was trying to get some stuff organized.  What’s going on?”  He had called earlier, telling Mikey to ring if he was freaking out, if there was anything he needed to talk about, so whatever he was calling about, it had to be important.  ”Are you okay?”

“Pete. Hi. Um, I don’t know. You said to call if I was freaking out. I think this counts as freaking out.  I’m scaring myself. I’m worried about everything. I don’t know what to do.” Mikey rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “What do I do? I- Help me?”

Mikey took a few deep breaths, willing himself to calm down. He was still shaking, but the tears had finally stopped. 

Breathe, Mikey. Just take a deep breath. In and out. That’s right. Calm down. It’s alright. It’s okay. 

Pete’s words flashed in his mind, “If you’re freaking out just call.”

This definitely qualifies as freaking out. He stood up and walked out of the room, muttering a quick goodbye to his brother’s lifeless form.

Once downstairs, Mikey pulled out his phone and clicked on Pete’s number. After about the second ring, Mikey was starting to get irritated. “Come on Pete, answer the phone.”

Boyfriend/Brother in a Coma →

spaceoddityofthebasement:

mikeythekid:

spaceoddityofthebasement:

mikeythekid:

Mikey shoved his phone back in his pocket after his conversation with Pete and went back over to the now-empty bedside. “Gee. Oh god. I- I knew I should’ve tried to stop you from ever leaving home. Or come to New York as soon as Frank said you’d called.” Mikey tilted his head back, fighting the tears that he knew were coming. “When- When I heard you’d been shot I didn’t know what to expect. What I said last time I saw you- I wasn’t lying. I don’t know what I’d do. A little bit of me would die too. But I- I can’t stand to see you suffer like this.” Mikey grabbed Gerard’s hand as if he thought it would make a difference. “Why am I even talking? You can’t hear me.” Mikey shook his head, unsuccessfully trying to shake away the tears.

Gerard heaved a weary sigh.  “Me hearing you is not the problem, Mikes,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes.  “Trust me.  I’m sorry I hurt you, kid, I promise, I’ll explain everything when Dumbass there wakes up.”  He tilted his head back until it was resting against the back of the chair.  “Man, and I thought getting ignored at school sucked.”

Mikey heard his brother breathing shallowly in the silence of the room. “Oh god, Gerard. Are- are you in pain? Fuck. You won’t answer that. Of course.” Mikey studied Gerards face through his tears, still clutching at his hand. “You look so… weak. I hate it. You’re always so strong. You’ve been suffering for so long though. I see it now. And now you’re suffering and can’t do anything about it. Oh god. I wish I could do-” An idea hit Mikey causing him to cry harder. “I couldn’t. But if it made you stop hurting. I can’t stand to see you hurting. Oh god, you look like you’re in so much pain. If only I could…” Mikey squeezed his brother’s limp hand and stood up. “I’ll- I’ll be right back. It’ll help- Oh god.” He wiped his eyes and attempted to put on a straight face before leaving the room.

Uh.  That was alarming.  He wasn’t in pain, as far as he knew, and what the fuck had Mikey been talking about, he was “suffering?”  He wasn’t suffering; he was kind of pissed off that no one could see or hear him, but he didn’t think that really qualified.  Maybe he was going to get him more drugs.  That was probably unnecessary, there was a bag of clear liquid on an IV stand next to his arm that said “DILAUDID” in big black letters.  He’d been doing drugs long enough to know what that was.  What was Mikey planning?

Mikey looked around the hallway for anything he might be able to use. He spotted a closet labeled “supplies” and tried the door, but it was locked. Fuck, what am I doing? Was I actually thinking of - ? He swore aloud, eliciting a look from an old woman walking down the hallway. He tried the door again, just to check, and went back to Gerard’s room, swearing under his breath. As soon as the door was shut, he plopped himself into the chair in the corner and curled into the fetal position. “Shitfuck. Gee- Couldn’t- Oh god- Why’d I even think of- I could never-” His sentences started getting shorter and making less sense as he slunk lower into the chair and his eyes started to fill once more with water.